There is a phenomenon in the United States that really bugs me when it comes to our issues with body image. We tend to forget there is no perfect form - thin, fat or somewhere in between, all of these shapes hold a beautiful human being inside.
My shape has ranged all along the scale of fat to thin. I sit now at a weight that the medical community deems obese - yet my community of friends, family, and coworkers deems fit. I have been called many things throughout my life - skinny minney, boney butt, beached whale, tub o' lard, and even squealed at like a pig.
When I was heavy people made fun of me. The worst was walking by high school boys and having them say, "hear piggy, piggy" and then squeal at me mimicking a pig. Oh and the time I went into Victoria Secrets to purchase a gift card for a friends wedding and while I was looking around the sales lady said, "umm I don't think we carry anything that fits you here." The other sales people smirked at me, one even giggled.
When I was thin people made fun of me. The worst was when a very close friend of mine pointed at the fact my ribs were now visible above my chest and stated, "that looks gross, you should eat something, your ribs shouldn't show like that." Another time I had the right of way and was walking across the street when a car with two obese women pulled up and yelled, "get out of the fucking street stupid skinny bitch, thin doesn't get you privileges it just makes it easier to run you over!" They laughed heartily and zoomed off.
I watch this ugly monster of hatred in regards to ALL shapes and sizes run rampant on social media sites as well. Mostly women, but some men too, search for, create, and readily come across images, quotes, and articles to share that support the size and shape they are. Sometimes in doing so they end up alienating others with posts that are filled with hurtful comments against those who are not that shape and size.
Most of the time these images and quotes attack thin women with sayings like, "real men prefer meat not bones" or "curvy is beautiful who wants a stick?" Even going so far as to take images of beautifully fit women, who have obviously worked their butts off to get into such great shape, and saying things like, "bitch needs a sandwich" and "this man is doing really bad in drag."
We get so wrapped up in wanting to be okay with our bodies, compounded by the fact we just simple are not okay with them, that we end up searching for some kind of recognition outside of us that our size really is okay. Online we find this validation of our size and shape in a image, quote, or article that alleviates some of the negativity we thrust upon ourself. In doing so, I think we forget, or perhaps we truly are completely unaware, that everyone around us is doing the exact same thing - dealing with negative body image of themselves in some form.
Most of the time these images and quotes attack thin women with sayings like, "real men prefer meat not bones" or "curvy is beautiful who wants a stick?" Even going so far as to take images of beautifully fit women, who have obviously worked their butts off to get into such great shape, and saying things like, "bitch needs a sandwich" and "this man is doing really bad in drag."
We get so wrapped up in wanting to be okay with our bodies, compounded by the fact we just simple are not okay with them, that we end up searching for some kind of recognition outside of us that our size really is okay. Online we find this validation of our size and shape in a image, quote, or article that alleviates some of the negativity we thrust upon ourself. In doing so, I think we forget, or perhaps we truly are completely unaware, that everyone around us is doing the exact same thing - dealing with negative body image of themselves in some form.
When we do come across these pieces of validation we get lost in a moment of great excitement because FINALLY, "someone else has been here too! Look they designed this image, quoted this quote, wrote this article! I must share it right away and be as proud as they are of who I am and how I look!" Getting so wrapped up in the small moment of positive we are finally feeling about ourselves that we miss entirely the overall negative the message presents to those who are not like us. We do not realize what friends we may be hurting or what person struggling with their own body image issues might just be torn apart by the that same moment that offered us some glue.
It is a sad and sickening cycle how cruel we are, not only to ourselves, but also to others in regards to the size and shape our being is held within. Some of us are thin. Some of us are fat. Some of us sit in between. Yet all of us hate something about our body - some more than others.
We all strive to reach a point where we can sit comfortable in our own skin. Try and remember this the next time you find yourself wanting to label someone "fat" or "thin" - that person you are labeling is uncomfortable about their body too. Also try and remember that you see yourself in a light that is much worse than others, even those making fun. The next time you look in the mirror stop looking for the bad and strive to find one new thing about yourself that is good.
In fact, make that every time! Every time you look in the mirror stop looking for the bad and strive to find one new thing about yourself that is good. Eventually you may find, as most others do, the good outweighs the bad and you are beautiful no matter what shape or size your being is carried within.
It is a sad and sickening cycle how cruel we are, not only to ourselves, but also to others in regards to the size and shape our being is held within. Some of us are thin. Some of us are fat. Some of us sit in between. Yet all of us hate something about our body - some more than others.
We all strive to reach a point where we can sit comfortable in our own skin. Try and remember this the next time you find yourself wanting to label someone "fat" or "thin" - that person you are labeling is uncomfortable about their body too. Also try and remember that you see yourself in a light that is much worse than others, even those making fun. The next time you look in the mirror stop looking for the bad and strive to find one new thing about yourself that is good.
In fact, make that every time! Every time you look in the mirror stop looking for the bad and strive to find one new thing about yourself that is good. Eventually you may find, as most others do, the good outweighs the bad and you are beautiful no matter what shape or size your being is carried within.
~TigressSky~
P.S.
Don't believe me? Watch this experiment.
"Women are their own worst beauty critics. Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful. At Dove, we are committed to creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety. So, we decided to conduct a compelling social experiment that explores how women view their own beauty in contrast to what others see."
